The Traveling Circus Reviews

Kids' Wish List

2010-11-19T07:08:00.000-05:00

Today I was going to post a wish list for kids' products. I decided to let the kids help with this by writing about what they are thankful for. You can check out my motivation over on The Traveling Circus today. Check back Monday for shopping ideas.

A Thankful Holiday Wish List

2010-11-18T08:56:00.000-05:00

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Leggings by Calvin Klein
Boots by Shoebox

At this time of year a lot of people put out holiday wish lists. We did it over at Chic Critique and I've seen countless ones go up in the last few days. Here, I decided in the spirit of Thanks, instead of wishes I'd write an I'm glad I have it list. Just for the sake of truth, I either bought or was handed down all but one of the items below so as always these opinions are mine and not influenced in any way.

Here we go:

The Traveling Circus Reviews' I love it so Much You Will Too Holiday List 2010

Hamilton Beach Brew Station Coffee Maker: I went in search of a thermal coffee pot again after breaking my fourth glass carafe. I figured thermal would be more cost effective than continuing to replace glass. When my shopping partner and I stumbled on this, we fell in love with the idea of a fresh cup of coffee at any time of day. The coffee is hot for The Husband who leaves the house when it's still dark and for me when I finally get to coffee (usually 10 in the morning) after shuttling to and fro. Genius! And at a price that's cheaper than most thermal versions, it's a two-fer!
Breadman Breadmaker: Now this was a hand me down from my sister so there are fancier versions available but I have to say mine does the trick. If you've read The Traveling Circus lately you are familiar with my love affair with freshly baked bread. I couldn't do it without my Breadman.
Barnes and Noble NOOK E-Reader: I know, I know. A year ago I went on a tirade when my husband asked for a Kindle. I was all, "the crack of the spine, the smell of the memories, the feel of the paper between my fingers, blah, blah, blah." Then I had to travel to California right at the time I was about to start a 500+ page book. The thought of carrying that thing through security, or even worse, having to pay extra because it weighed down my checked luggage was enough to compel me to the book store. You'll notice I'm using Amazon links for most of my list and I will say my husband loves his Kindle. But I'm a sucker for the Barnes and Noble's Marketing and thus, their product. (It didn't hurt that they were the cheapest at the time either.) They aimed their ads at people like me-readers who love the book almost as much as the story. The didn't go after techies but instead to those of us who want our book friends with us everywhere. They sold me and now I can't imagine my life without my Nook. I still browse bookstores for hours on end, but then I go home and download my picks for half the cost and without the worry of where to store or donate them when I'm finished. And of course, it's so much easier to read in bed than a 20 pound novel!
Leggings: I mean what is there to say? I get to dress like I wish I could (in sweatpants) and still be fashionable. I love my Simply Vera version from Khols. For $20 they are the perfect length and weight. Throw them on with a long sweater and riding boots and you're the hippest and most comfortable mom at pickup.
MyTouch 3G: This one I have to tell you I didn't buy. I won this phone from TMobile, but I was already a TMobile Customer and previously purchased the G1 Phone which I was also mildly obsessed with. I have tried just about every phone short of iPhone and this one is my favorite because it does everything. I have all my contacts that I already have in Google. The data is all saved on that server, so I never lose my stuff even when I upgrade phones. I can also link my emails, (both gmail and Yahoo!) my calendar and there are apps for tracking my food intake, exercise, budget, coupons and grocery lists as well as music for me and games to keep the kids occupied during doctor's appointments. And of course, I have access to Twitter 24 hours a day! It's amazing. It acts like a computer in all ways except the obnoxious freezing and shutting down. It rivals the bread maker for the love of my life.

There you go-products I love that you should wish for! Tomorrow I'll do a kid version so check back to update those holiday shopping lists. I listed links here for you to check products out, but I will say don't forget FreeCycle, ebay Classifieds and Craigslist as places to look first. Because, for every one of me that loves these things, there are at least 5 people who are ready to get rid of theirs. You'll save yourself some dough and save the earth from one more Breadman in the landfill!
Happy Holidays!

"My Mickey Mote"

2010-11-14T12:00:00.000-05:00

The one drawback to having three kids is that the youngest ends up growing up too fast. When his brother and sister moved from preschool shows to "big kid" shows, so did he. As much as I tried to encourage age appropriate viewing, he wanted what his siblings wanted-because that's what he thought was cool. I have to admit that I started to miss Mickey, Manny and Quincy around here when they were replaced with Hannah, Phineus and Ferb.
So it was with great delight that I welcomed the Mickey Mote into our home. According to the literature I received with it, the Mickey Mote is, "a one-of-a-kind, child friendly hand held remote control, shaped like Mickey ears, that provides children with an engaging interaction with their favorite Disney Preschool DVDs."
According to my preschooler it's, "cool and super good."
According to me, it's the magic that brought back Mickey and Manny.
The Mickey Mote works with (and will be available for purchase with) certain Disney DVDs in Discovery Mode. It is basically a tactile way for your kids to engage with the shows they may already love to be engaged with. Instead of just yelling answers at the television, they get to feel like the are making the choices right there with Mickey and Manny. When Mickey needs to count or Manny needs to choose a tool, your kid gets to choose the answer using the Mickey Mote. It's pretty great for them to feel connected and for my little guy he gets to be the cool one in the house. In fact, his older siblings have been begging for days to share the Mickey Mote. It seems when there is a remote involved, they forget they're watching "baby shows" and we've had a house full of Playhouse Disney for days.
Welcome back old friends. Thanks Mickey Mote.
*For more information or to see a video trailer of the Mickey Mote, click here.

Here's the preschooler-in his own words. I tried to film him using the Mickey Mote, but he was so mesmerized it didn't make for very entertaining video.:)

Kid Fresh gets the Kid Test

2010-10-26T10:12:00.001-04:00

My kids beg for frozen meals all the time. They never get them. When I have a sitter, I rely on chicken nuggets or Annie's mac & cheese and frozen broccoli as my go to meals. There is too much sugar and salt and quite frankly many other ingredients I don't recognize in those frozen selections. Until now when Kid Fresh hits the scene as a brand that's trying to change all that. The meals have very few ingredients and all are natural and recognizable! They are also made in BPA and Phalate free bowls so no fear of toxic- microwaving. Of course the packaging is eco-friendly recyclable cardboard. I have to admit natural and frozen sometimes means gross, so while I was pleased at the efforts, I was skeptical about taste. I decided to put the meals to the true test: my kids. The following is the edited version of our taste tests which were fun and lasted way longer than three minutes. There aren't a ton of choices for meals so far and some that are available could just as easily be made in your own kitchen probably as quickly as in your microwave. But I will say for when you're in a super hurry or not home at all these seem near perfect. Add that to the novelty of a frozen meal for my kids and Kid Fresh suddenly becomes even more desirable. If I could suggest one thing-I'd sell bags of their frozen meatballs. They tasted great and I've never seen a frozen meatball with so few ingredients.
Overall, Kid Fresh gets a thumbs up from some pretty tough testers.:)Check out their website to find out where you can get your own Kid Fresh meals.I'd love to hear what your kids think!

* I was provided with coupons for free Kid Fresh meals in exchange for this taste test however everything said by my kids and I is an honest assessment of the product.

Muffin Top Secrets

2010-10-13T09:30:00.000-04:00

I think the hardest part (ok maybe not the hardest but you know what I mean) to being a mom is the fashion part. I haven't forgotten who I was, someone with style. Before kids I used to love to shop and I used to love to dress. It has become more and more of a hassle these days because my body doesn't look like what I need it to in order to pull off the fashion that I love. Well, enter the tunic top. Thank goodness for this new little work horse because it has saved me at many an event. My uniform of late is an assortment of these loose waisted numbers with skinny jeans, black pants or leggings and boots. I can look fashion forward and still hide the years of wear and tear.

The key to tunics is that you need tops that are loose through the middle to cover the result of your sins (in my case babies and beer) but not too loose that you just look twenty pounds heavier. Also, you have to be wary of the empire waist because if you've ever worn maternity tops you never want to go back.

Up top is one of my favorites from the Gap. It's reasonable priced and can be dressed up or dressed down. There are tons more at Shopstyle-more than I could pick to show you actually. So just click above to see the multitude of offerings that compose the wonder of the muffin covering tunic.

Netflix for Kids' Books with a discount to boot!

2010-10-12T08:24:00.001-04:00

We love the library around here. We go pretty often and each kid gets to check out whatever they want and everyone leaves happy. What I don't love are the times when I rack up $40 in fees because I didn't know the movies were due earlier than the books or when the system says a book is out and I am CERTAIN I returned it. Also, two weeks is never enough time and I almost always forget to renew.
Enter Book Pig-a netflix like program for kids books. I haven't tried it yet because I just heard about it yesterday. Savvy Source is offering a huge discount on memberships that I intend to take full advantage of.
If you're unfamiliar with this type of service, I'll tell you that each kid can get their own queue of books (that's list for all of you non-British folks) and then they get a shipment every month delivered to your door with a paid return shipping option.
No late fees. No racing to the drop off box in the pouring rain. No renewal stress and the kids get mail! What more could a family need.
Book Pig offers various price options starting at $11.95/month for five books and topping off at $32.95 for 18 books a month. The Savvy Source listed price is $19 and it gives you a $50 coupon to use toward any subscription. The coupon must be used by April 15, 2011. You should also know the Savvy Source/Savvy Savings program offers 5% of its proceeds to scholarships for kids to attend preschool and you can get further discounts by referring your friends to the deals. Please read more about it here. You get a deal and you give back. That's my kind of savings. The deal is a group deal so a certain number of people need to sign up in order to get the discount. I'm going to. Hope you will too. Just go here to sign up: The Savvy Source Deals

A Dream Vacay-They Don't Call it Dreaming for Nothin'

2010-10-08T14:20:00.000-04:00

Cheerios® is giving you the chance to win a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, your ultimate family vacation. As part of a paid promotion for their “Do What You Love” Sweepstakes, Cheerios® is sponsoring my post today about what my ultimate family vacation would be. Read mine, Enter the Sweepstakes for a chance to actually win your own fantasy family trip or one of a bunch of other great prizes.

I love travel. I don't just mean vacations, (Who doesn't love those?) I mean actual travel. I love planes and cars and trains and boats. There isn't a trip tic I've met that I haven't loved. My favorite part is simply the experience of living somewhere else for a bit. This is evidenced by the fact that I never have too many plans for when I get somewhere. I plan like crazy for the departure. There are packing lists and snack bags, reading and (of course!) music downloaded and outfits and toiletries sorted and packed for five people. During prep time, I am a Ellie Efficient but then I usually just head off and figure out what to do with my days when I get where I'm going. I've taught my kids the same thing. Wherever we've been, we just are. For however long we stay somewhere we live as natives until it's time to pack and go home. We've never had a trip that we didn't love, so it must be working so far.
Because I love travel so much, it's hard to name just one dream vacation. When asked, my first thought is a trip to Italy with my husband but that is mostly because we spend so little time together that the word vacation immediately brings up visions of alone time on a romantic canal sipping red wine. But just as quickly I think of taking my kids to Disney or showing them Spain or experiencing Australia with them and that, I think is really the dream. Then I realize there is a trip that keeps coming up. The Trailer Trip. I have such a burning desire to have my kids meet my cousins' kids that I have it all worked out. We'll hop in our rented mobile home in Jersey and warm up with a stop in PA for an Austin and Joe family BBQ. Next we'll visit Aunt Mimi in Ohio. From there we'll hit the open road and stop in as many Mel's Diners as we can on the way to Minnesota for Jannell and Tracy and their crew. We'll head west to northern California where we'll hang with the Bakers who either live there or have made the trek from L.A. to join us in a game of pool at Helen's humble beach palace while Faith and Ava fall in love and share a girl crush on cousin Jacqui. Dan and Griff of course will hang with Jesse and Jack either tearing up the house and yard as only boys can do or maybe even surf a while. After all, they're- each one- a coastal kid. We'll visit my mom's childhood house and and hopefully get some history from Aunt Jan and Uncle Jack.
The leaving is the worst part but leave we must because finally we'll hit the gas on up through Canada and over to our last stop-the wilds of Wasilla where my three finally get to hang with Roxie's two. If she can convince her brother to visit we'll get his four as well. We may rest in Alaska a while. By then the drive might have done me in and who knows, I might just want to see Russia from her house.
I guess it's clear to me now, my dream family vacation only needs one thing: family. The more that I can get in to one trip the better. It's the family that makes the vacation a dream.

Don't forget to enter the “Do What You Love” Sweepstakes, for a chance to win your own ultimate family vacation. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Life is Dreamy

2010-03-16T08:25:00.001-04:00

The vision was very clear: I would live in a teeny-tiny walk up apartment (even in my dreams, I'm a realist) in The Village and I would sell my Ritzky (a nod to the Polish Ritz) designs at funky little shops all over town. My name would eventually spread enough to be on the lips of important fashionistas and I'd move from funky boutiques to Bendel's and Barneys. I'd style for Oscars and Emmys and of course, the Tony's because above all else I would be a theater girl.
Eventually, I'd make buckets of money so I'd move into a bigger apartment but still "keep it real" in the Village. I'd eventually start writing for the fashion magazines that were interviewing me and I'd then be the eyes and voice of style-knocking out two of my passions (fashion and writing) all at once. When the buckets of money came, and I could stand alone, I'd finally meet a man and together we would teach our kids to give our buckets of money away-to women who wanted to start businesses of their own (check off passion number three).
That was the dream.
The reality?
At 20 I moved out of B school (where I thought I'd get a marketing degree to get my foot in a fashion door) to teaching where I felt more comfortable. At 24 I was a dead broke working teacher who married a dead broke PR Hack. We spent the next few years having fun and moving farther and farther away from buckets of money. We donated what little could to charity and I volunteered my limited time-but there were no seeds being planted for women to better the world. We lived in the same town we grew up-having gotten as far north as Baltimore City-not New York.
We were happy though, so I talked myself into thinking that dreams can change and you can settle for something different and be just fine. When we moved to New Jersey and the PR Hack became a Vice President for a cutting edge firm smack in the middle of Money Town, NYC, I survived the unrest of him "getting" my dream and decided it was close enough. We were fine. I was happy. Dreams change.
Flash forward to a fine February Saturday when The Vice President and I are walking through the streets of the West Village. We are heading to a business appointment for me. I have cards in my pocket that have the title Stylist after my name. (Which, incidentally is Ritz King-not quite Ritzky but boy, oh boy.) We don't live in the city, but I love where we do live and it took us so little time to get over the bridges and through the tunnels that we can do a city day as often as we'd like.
I am not selling my designs at small boutiques, but I am bringing incredibly hot pieces to people who have never heard of them before. I'm introducing fashion in fashion city. Me. The teacher from the suburbs is walking through the streets of the city of my dreams doing a job that makes me feel like I finally found my passion. Then I get to go home-with the man-and love on three of the greatest dreams ever. There are no buckets of money yet-but the potential is there. I start to think that maybe it wasn't too late after all. I am in fashion. The designs I rep are in all the fashion magazines and on the red carpets. The company name is on the lips of important people on each coast. Our design house is in SoHo. Our founders have illustrious careers in both fashion and business. I am learning at their feet. I get to go into NYC as often as I want for work and training. As if this wasn't enough, want to know the kicker? My company just announced that they will start a charitable foundation that will...you guessed it, give seed money to women all over the world who want to start their own businesses. I am part of the force that will make the money to be given away. My kids see it all.
Don't look now, but just when you decide to settle for less, dreams may just come true.

Same Old Story about Time

2010-03-11T08:39:00.000-05:00

This morning I woke up early (Really, I just got up because I didn't sleep so I figured why not get a start. ) and spent an hour with three calendars in front of me planning our life. Moving and my burgeoning business have shaken everything up and now I have to reconfigure my weeks. It seems every day there are more and more spinning plates and I need to figure out when I'm going to give them each a rotation to keep them all moving at the correct speed. If not, the whole lot comes crashing down.
So I plotted times for writing and then dealing with the business of writing. I set aside time to not only read the 2,387 emails in my inbox, but I also included time to respond and address problems found in said emails. I put in times for laundry and mopping the floor and washing, sorting, folding and putting away laundry. I have bank and post office listed. I have specific times and days for every single thing I could think of including feed the children and clean up after them. It felt good to look at that cute little color blocked sheet. This was going to work!
Then the kids came downstairs and one was covered in a head to toe rash. Add doctor's appointment to Thursday. Then one reminded me they need money for a field trip. Add get cash to Thursday. Then I fed the cat and realized we were low on food. Grocery shop is Monday. Can I make the cat food last 'till Monday?
This is what happens. This is why I forgot yesterday was a half-day and my daughter had to call me from the school office. The date had changed. We got the note on moving day. I entered it on my wall calendar, which I never saw because I left the house at 8:00 and didn't return until I'd already missed her. I put it in my phone but I set my phone to silent because I had to (last minute) substitute in my son's preschool class so I never heard the "ding" for the half-day note. I became "that mom". The one who leaves their kid on the curb of the school. I am late. I am forgetful. I can't balance my checkbook correctly, ever. I am very lucky if I shower. I used to be prompt, organized and fiscally sound. Now, I'm a disaster.
I have no system. I can make beautiful color coded weekly plan sheets every week, but until it becomes socially acceptable for me to pin that to my shirt every morning, I fear I will continually drop my spinning plates.
I am not sure how to handle everything I am responsible for and everything I would like to be responsible for. I've been asked to do all sorts of amazing things and I never seem to get to them because I am awash in dirty socks and bounced checks. I'm not complaining because I recognize how blessed I am to have the opportunities I do. Thank God I also have pretty well adjusted children who seem to survive my madness daily. Thank God I have a new business that is turning successful in spite of my non-efforts! Thank heaven I have these writing opportunities fall in my lap even if I am neglectful of the networking and PR I should be doing to get and keep said opportunities. I am most certainly not complaining because I think I COULD handle it all. I just need to figure out how.

Am I worthy of you girl?

2010-02-18T06:31:00.000-05:00

I read something the other day that said women who make time to hang out with girlfriends are healthier. I am certain that is true. I know when I come away from time with my girls I feel lighter in spirit(usually heavier in food/cocktail weight), happier and all around more equipped to take on the world. I have fantastic friends and I have been blessed with a lot of them. In fact, I had a snafu yesterday on Facebook wherein I created a new profile page by accident. Before I had time to figure out what I had done wrong I had 56 friends. I am very blessed.

I worry though-do I deserve them? I don't mean am I a good person, I just mean am I a good enough friend? When choosing my bridal party all those years ago, I really had to labor over who to leave out. There were so many people that were so important to me, it was difficult to narrow the list to an acceptable bridal party number. I had two maids of honor and they were my sisters. Had I no sisters, I probably still would have had at least two maids of honor that day.

When my husband and I have had to pick Godparents for our children, it is excruciating. We have amazing friends that all would fit the bill of people good enough to take care of your children and teach them about the world. See? I am blessed.

I have only been a maid of honor once-for my sister. I have never been a Godparent despite my friends' abundance of children.

This is not a woe is me post. These are just facts that make me nervous that I am not a good friend. Do these people that I love so much, who mean so much in my life not know that I would move mountains to help them? Do I exhibit that or is that a sentiment that is in my heart but that rings hollow when tested in real life?

I got a Christmas card from a friend that had two babies on it. I am almost positive I didn't know there was a second baby. No wonder I am no one's godparent-I don't even keep track of who is born.

My friends are scattered, especially now that I have moved away. Have time and distance and the daily madness of raising three kids made me a bad friend?I don't know, but I worry.Time and distance and daily madness are a fact of life. I should be able to balance something important like girlfriends with all the rest. It will never get easier. I need to keep in touch better. I need to reach out more. I need to make sure they know I am grateful for them and that no matter how busy or harried or forgetful, they are always on my mind and I would make time if they needed it. I am blessed to have so many friends. I need to make sure they feel blessed to have me.

Trying to eat right-still...

2010-02-08T08:48:00.000-05:00

I have lost about six pounds since January first. My journey is less than consistent. I have probably had more fast food in the last three weeks than I had in the six months prior. I need help figuring out what to do when the day gets crazy. Maybe I need help keeping the day from getting crazy!
The problem is not the menu planning-as you know I kicked butt at that. The problem is the grocery shopping. That gets pushed to the bottom of the list and so I never seem to have everything I need for my recipes. What has resulted though is some creative new recipes that have been quite good!
I'll share some but I warn you I am not great at measurements. I tend to cook to taste. So I'll give you a vague idea, but if you need details you might need to search a little harder. If, like me you use recipes as a jumping off point, then you'll probably enjoy the starter ideas here. Either way, let me know what you come up with.

Mexican Salad: (This recipe originated in a WW Cookbook and started at 5 points. I doctored it a little so it may not be quite 5 anymore)

Ground Beef (a package which is usually around a pound)
2t Chili Powder, 1tCumin, 1/2t Cinnamon, 1/2t salt
romaine lettuce shredded (about 2 heads)
2 tomatoes sliced
1 can black beans drained
3-4 scallions thinly sliced
1/2 red onion (optional-I can't get enough)
1 Avocado sliced
(some) salsa (see what I mean-not big on measurements-it's roughly a cup)
1/2 C low fat sour cream
lime juice-to taste

Cook the beef in a frying pan until no longer pink, mix in the spices then simmer until the sweet smell gets ya.;)
Layer the lettuce, tomatoes, scallions, onions, avocado and beans in a bowl
Top with beef and salsa
Mix sour cream and lime juice in a bowl. Pour on top of salad.
Serve immediately.

Even my kids ate this-amazing.

Tomorrow: Stuffed Portobello Mushroom Caps.

Taking a Walk

2010-01-22T16:03:00.001-05:00

This last week has been an exercise in self control. After the newness of resolutions wear off, you have to really commit to your ideas or you risk just throwing in the towel. I have to say I've been committed to some more than others (can someone remind me where my gym is located?) but overall I'm hanging in there.

I have lost five pounds since the beginning of the month. My diet has changed drastically even though this week I did consume a significant amount of angel food cake slathered in chocolate icing and maybe one little Mac Snack Wrap. Whoops-still working on the " eat healthy food on the go" portion of this plan.

Here is what I was challenged to do this week: go on a gratitude walk. That means just wander through my house and stop in each room and focus on what I am thankful for. I read about the idea (or one similar) in Hannah Keeley's Total Mom Makeover. It is a book I picked up for $2 off a discount table after I started this New Year Plan. It is a pretty good read with fantastic ideas. Although while reading it I keep kicking myself for not starting this blog a few years earlier because clearly it's an idea worth publishing. Too bad Ms. Keeley's done it first!

Anyway, the gratitude walk is great because instead of focusing on dust bunnies or the dining room chairs I keep meaning to recover, I am forced to focus on my beautiful furniture or pictures in frames that sit on the dusty shelves. Doing this-focusing on the good- seems to also help me remember the how and why of everything. Remembering walking through the antique store to buy my first piece of "real" furniture; finding the dining room table while walking hand and hand with my husband on a beautiful Sunday. The pictures, well they speak for themselves-a day at the beach, a new baby, a wedding. How often do I race past these memories every day without stopping to remember how lucky I am to have them? How often do you?
Take a walk this week-through your house or neighborhood, or just your mind. Focus, not on what needs to be changed, but instead look at what you are thankful to have just the way it is.

Happy Trails.

Shark

2010-01-17T22:38:00.001-05:00

My husband called me a shark.

I was offended. I mean I'm nice. I am not someone who circles people and plans an attack. Sheesh.

Then he explained.
He says sharks have to move forward or else they will die. It seems, the way sharks' gills face, they only way they get enough oxygen is if they swim forward. Thus, if they stay still for too long they lose air and ultimately die.

Yep. I'm a shark.

Prior to the great New Year Personality Overhaul (don't you like how I capitalize it like it's an actual movement?) I was most definitely not swimming forward.

Oh I was working. I was thinking. I was observing and planning. But in the end, I was standing still and it was killing me.

When we moved to this new place I got us moved in and then began the work of rebuilding. In the rebuilding I got caught up in a bit of analysis paralysis. I tried and tried to figure out where to go and in all the trying I forgot to actually move. I worked and worked and kept thinking that if I just worked and worked some more that it would all work out. It didn't.

Thank goodness the tide of New Year caught me before I ran out of air.

I guess he's right. I am a shark and I need to move forward to make sure I get enough air.

I think I can

2010-01-10T11:00:00.000-05:00

Admittedly the first week of anything is easy. I mean you're all excitement and enthusiasm and usually you have some results to feel good about.

For me, week one means I now have a list of concrete goals and actions. I lost three pounds, packed up clothes for our move, made a plan for five weeks of meals, and groceries and finally budgeted my time and money to create The Master Plan to achieve said goals. Pretty good week huh? I was pretty pumped until about ten o'clock Saturday night when the only thing I was, was exhausted at the prospect that I had JUST BEGUN.

Needless to say, the giddy excitement I felt last Sunday night is a little dimmer this week. Which means it is time for determination and gratitude.

Today I recovered with my family. I focused on how grateful I was not only for time, but for the amazing little (and big) people that live within my four walls. My Girl and I had lunch together. My Baby and I played a little Wii. My Middle Son sat with me and wrote thank-you notes for his birthday gifts. Then, when he wasn't looking, I just stared at him for a while. The Husband and I budgeted our lives and then spent just a few minutes talking about what we were building for ourselves and our children. I am grateful for the abundance I already have and the blessings I have that will allow me to build more.

Tonight I will go to bed with a clear head, because I am planned well for all that lies ahead on the road to where I am going. Tomorrow I will wake up and remind myself how great things already are where I am.

Bringing in the Man

2010-01-08T06:49:00.000-05:00

My favorite thing so far about blogging this New Year Overhaul? The comments! I have loved getting input from all of you about what do you or don't do to improve your life.

I took some of that advice for meal planning and time management. So this weekend it's on to budgets and work schedule.

Then, next week The Husband has asked to be included in the overhaul. Admittedly, when you are busy taking care of a family and working a consuming job, you often take for granted the one thing you know will stick around despite the abuse. We are both pretty happy with how much we already do as far as communicating and appreciating, but we could definitely still use some improvement in keeping each other at the top of our list. Since this overhaul is supposed to be about me becoming a person for others, I suppose I have throw The Husband a bone here. (tee-hee) He has earnestly been trying to do his part this week, with helping more and verbally appreciating what I do to keep the house running. Now, it's only been four days. But, who knows? Maybe concentrating on something for him will actually really benefit me!

Happy Friday.

Skiing and Throwing Strikes

2010-01-06T21:29:00.000-05:00

I heard a perfect metaphor last night: effectively tackling goals is like skiing. (Shoot-that's a simile. Oh, well you get it right?) Now, I don't personally get it...at all, but I understand the idea behind it.

When you ski, or so I'm told, you don't jump off the lift and stare at the bottom of the mountain. In fact if you're really good you can't even see the bottom of the mountain from the top. Even though the bottom of the mountain is your ultimate destination, your goal if you will, you don't set your sights on it. Instead, what you do is concentrate 20 feet or so ahead. You set out knowing what you want to do, but you focus just ahead on moguls or ditches (what are ditches called in the snow) trees and other skiers and you amend your path as you need to in order to stay strong, fast and safe the entire way. You act and then reassess and adjust all the while feeling the cold air in your face and the smooth speed beneath your skis. (Wow, I made that sound pretty nice for someone who abhors cold weather sports huh?)

My husband asked me the other night about softball. See, I was good at softball back in the day. I mean like all DC Metropolitan good. Not first team, but still. I was the pitcher for my team and I did my job well.

So he asked me about softball and what I was thinking or doing on that mound. The truth? I wasn't thinking anything. I was seeing where I would put the ball. I was seeing where the ball would end up. I never saw a hit. I only saw a bat swing and miss. I was certain, every single time I threw the ball that it would go exactly where I wanted it to. When it didn't, I was not permitted to leave the field and take a few practice throws. I did not stop the game to dissect my performance in order to perfect it before I threw another pitch.

No, I just started over and threw again-expecting the same perfect results I expected when I threw the first pitch. History didn't matter. The other players didn't matter. Who I was didn't' even mattered. What I saw and the work I put in to make my vision complete mattered-that's it. The ultimate reason for my success, even after all the hard work and practice is that I saw myself throwing strikes. I expected to get batters out-single handedly. It didn't always happen, but it happened a lot. I didn't visualize the scorecard and I didn't focus on the end of the game. I didn't worry about what other people would do. The goal of course was a winning score when the game ended, and of course my teammates' performance mattered. But just like a good skier who's goal is at the end and who's performance is affected by others on the mountain, I only focused about 20 feet ahead-on the task at hand. My tasks would get me to my goal and that was all that mattered.

Are you staring too far ahead? I was. Are you allowing your far-sightedness to stall you or intimidate you or muddy your thoughts? I was.

Not anymore. I don't look too far ahead now. I don't allow what might be to stall my progress. I don't care if I didn't do it right before. I don't care how far away I am from the end. I don't care if I am not entirely sure of the strategy for the entire game or if I don't throw strikes every time. I get up every morning and do what needs to be done to get me where I need to go. I focus on the task at hand, knowing that my tasks will ultimately lead to my goal.

I planned it that way. I visualized it that way. Now I will focus on what it takes to get there.

Visualizing is powerful. I had forgotten that. Doing what it takes, no matter what, is powerful. I forgot that.

I am powerful. I forgot that for a long time too.

Day two-feeling a bit like Bridget Jones

2010-01-05T22:23:00.000-05:00

Do you remember that book by Helen Fielding? Bridget Jones's Diary? They made a movie of it too but the only thing I can remember about that is how cute Colin and Hugh were and wondering throughout the whole thing, couldn't they have found a cute British actress for this role?

Anyway, Renee Zellweger aside, in the book Bridget starts each chapter with a count of calories and cigarettes and other funny "sins" she is tracking.

I feel like Bridget today because I could just bullet point what I got done and what I am grateful for, and then pepper those bullet points with how many snacks I thought of sneaking.

Actually, the snacks and overall food choices weren't so bad. They were just under a microscope of irony because I spent a good portion of the day organizing healthy-eating/all natural recipes into weekly plans so that I can plan grocery lists around them.

Here is what I did: Being totally inspired by this book, which lists recipes for dinner every night of the year, I decided to make my own "meal plan". Yes, I could have just bought Robin's incredible book, but remember the overhaul involves smart financial decisions so I tried to replicate it for free, as it will soon become clear to you that I have spent far too much money on cookbooks already.

I got down all the cook books I have that I actually unpacked when we got to NJ. This means that I actually use them from time to time. The others that are still in boxes will be taken, in said boxes, to donate somewhere. If I haven't missed them in a year (I haven't missed them so much that I can't even tell you the titles) then I don't need them. That is the beauty of moving-the regular purging of life's clutter. Sorry, I digress.

I took my cookbooks and a stack of 5x7 index cards and cut and pasted recipes from the books onto the cards. Out of four books I ended up with about 30 recipes. I would say I was more than wasting shelf space with those books if all that even interested me were 30 total recipes. Now I know, cutting books almost killed me too. And of course I fancied the idea that someday I would browse these books and hold glorious dinner parties with their contents. But, c'mon this overhaul is about action and dreaming about maybe someday doing doesn't sound very active. Right? So I chopped and I taped and now I have a stack of menus that will take me weeks to work through. Check it off the list and don't think about it again. Just read, list, shop, cook and repeat. Walla-no more chips and dip for dinner!

Unfortunately the organizing took longer than I expected so no groceries were actually purchased today. Thus, my children had buttered noodles and peas for dinner and I tried very hard to find snacks that didn't involve left over chips and dip from New Year's Eve.

The good news is I am that much closer to healthy eating made simple and day one of diligently using a a planner was fantastic. This is the last of the items on the to-do list. Check.

At day's end I am grateful for the food that nourishes me and the heat that warms me. On a day where the weathermen told me that any exposed skin could suffer frost-bite in 10 minutes, I am so, so grateful that we can provide a roof for us all to sleep under and oil to warm us while we sleep. There are many who can't provide and do not have those things. Too many. And it is the least I can do to be grateful and not take for granted that I am not among them tonight.

Fishing

2010-01-04T22:43:00.000-05:00

Today I went fishing... for tools that is. I focused on food and time. You would think I would have had menus and time management down long before I embarked on such a huge transformation, but nope. And of course, I'm not waiting until I have everything in place so I will build as I go.

I decided the way to battle the lack of a formal system was just to record everything. I have a note pad on my cell phone and I am in possession of a beautiful moleskin notebook that my husband gave me. He fancies me a writer and he was told, (or knows, or just made up-he's like that) that Hemingway used a Moleskin so The Husband thought I should have one too.

I am pretty sure that Hemingway did not have calories in and calories burned in his notebook, but whatever.

So today I wrote down my food, my exercise, my ideas, the money I spent the money I earned and a ridiculously long list of "To Dos" that included daily tasks, ideas, goals and future aspirations. Anything that came into my head, I wrote it down. Meanwhile, I scoured the Internet for healthy eating ideas and time management systems all during my day spent chasing and shuttling three kids. (Yes, three. The oldest got sick and missed her first day back at school.)

What I have written is a scary mish-mash of stuff right now, but at least it's all accounted for. The insanity of it scared me enough to head to the bookstore after bedtime. There I scoured cookbooks and healthy eating books for recipes and then found a beautiful planner that has a place for daily notes too. This means I have a calendar and notebook all together and it fits in my purse. It's not a Moleskin but I hope Hemingway isn't too offended because it just might be a time management system.

Look out!

As for food, tomorrow I will compile five weeks worth of recipes. Then I will make shopping lists off those recipes and keep them in a steady rotation until we can't take them anymore. Then I will do it again. I didn't buy any more books. I have enough. I just needed to be reminded of that. Chalk a point up in the money management column for me! It will be a bit of work, but worth it in the end.

Today I am grateful for much, but what comes to the front of my mind is bookstores. Is there anything more rejuvenating than browsing self-help, money management and philosophy aisles? Is there anything more entertaining than cracking open the first few pages of the new novels? Is there anything more therapeutic than meandering through a place that smells like fresh coffee and fresh ink? When I left tonight I had a clean slate-literally-in my purse. A brand new shiny planner-full of only one thing... possibility.

AAAHHH.

Resolutions

2010-01-03T19:57:00.000-05:00

I have read many posts and essays and articles this week (quite frankly over the years) that speak to resolutions, goals and life-makeovers. I understand the reason for setting goals and making resolutions. I know it is important to have a plan and work toward executing it. Yet, up until this point I have never done it myself. Don't get me wrong, I have moved forward with my life quite well. Also, I handle any situation thrown at me with confidence, grace and efficiency. However, for 35 years that is all I have done-handled situations...reacted. I have never proactively planned my life, thus I have never consciously executed a plan. My reason, I think has to do with never wanting to fail-or worse, succeed. Also (here's the kicker) I was never really sure what I wanted my goals to be. My life is pretty great in spite of my lack of vision for it. I guess I have just figured I'd leave well enough alone.

But lately this feeling of not knowing what I want has been unsettling. I am passionate about being a good role model to my children and being aimless does not seem to be much for them to aim for. It is imperative to show my children how to set a goal and work hard. It is imperative to teach them to reach and grow and dream. I want them to always have what they want or at least have the satisfaction of going after what they want. If I don't teach them, who will?

The problem so far has been figuring out what I want. I am pretty happy with my life, but there has always been something missing. I have always felt there was something bigger out there for me to do.

Then it hit me: I am only truly-to -my-core-happy when I am doing something for someone else.

This week we had a revolving door of family and friends at our house. About mid-week I realized that I was, for the first time in a long time (maybe ever) completely content. There was a peace to me this week that I have rarely, if ever, experienced.

If you were to look at my life right now, you would not expect I would be at peace even for a minute. But being surrounded by loved ones who were dependent on me for a place to eat, sleep, laugh, warmed my spirit into forgetting all the day to day stresses I have in my life.

That feeling, the peace that comes from doing for others, is what I want. That is my goal-obtaining the fulfillment that comes from being a person for others. Can you think of any better thing to model for your children than service?

Here's the kicker, in order to be someone for others, you have to get your own stuff together first. You have to organize your time and your money and your nourishment enough to be able to turn around and give all those things away. Thus, my resolutions have to do with cleaning my own self up enough to share what I have with others. You can not give what you do not have. So I need to get myself healthy, wealthy and wise.

Resolution number one is the healthy and wealthy part: lose weight/get fit, manage my time and money. I know these seem vague,and huge, but in my own mind and notebook, they are not. I feel no need to bore you with the details of the plan, but I will tell you this; I need accountability and this blog will be it. I will report my progress on the time, money, weight fronts in order to be true to my goals and not let the resolution stay on the January calendar page. I will keep readers up to date on what I have done, what I have learned and how I have grown. Maybe no one reads. It doesn't matter. Just putting the pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard as the case may be) will keep me honest and that is what I need.

Resolution Number Two is not to wait. My husband often says, "do not let perfect be the enemy of good". He often says not to do it and I often do it. I almost always wait to get started until everything is perfect for starting. Guess how often everything is perfect? Yep, never. I can not wait to be thinner before I love my body. I can not wait until I am healthier to shop and eat healthy. I can not wait until I am rich to give my money to causes I believe in. I can not wait until I have "extra" time before I donate my time to help another. Most importantly, I can not wait until I know everything about getting thinner, managing time, eating healthy, doing service or building wealth before I begin to DO these things.

I will live every day as if I am already a person who has everything in place to be there for others-including myself. I will treat myself as well as I treat everyone else. This may be the hardest part of all.

Finally, the biggest challenge in all of this, is that I will not wait until my life is perfect to appreciate the perfectness of my life. At first I thought my resolution would be to not complain. But then I realized not complaining is still just reacting-not creating. So instead of just not talking badly, I will talk "goodly". (I will never use that word again-I swear.) I will celebrate something every day. I will be grateful every day. I recognize some days I may have to search for what I am grateful for, but the mere act of searching will keep me positive instead of just not-negative.

So there they are-the resolutions. I will spend 2010 getting my house in order so that I can fill it with the causes and the people that I love. I will be healthier, wealthier and wiser so that there is more of me to give away. And I will work to appreciate it all-every day.

Away we go!

Gettin' myself together

2009-12-17T08:42:00.000-05:00

I pay close attention to what I write here because I do not want it to become a bitch blog. You know, where I just get on here and write about how all this working mother stuff is sooo hard. Because really, it's not. I mean, yes, I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off most of the time. And yes, I wish I had more time, money, peace and quiet-you know the drill. But hard? No. Because all my problems are really the good kind.

Everyone is healthy. We have jobs. We have a roof over our head and for the most part, we get through the days unscathed.

My only real wish is that I had myself more together. All the girl crushes on this blog are inspired by women I watch and think, how does she do it? They look great. They're smiling and they're usually conquering their own little part of the world with or without major life obstacles.
I am usually smiling but the looking good and conquering part usually fall down a bit.

In 2010 I am ready to do all three-look good, conquer my little part of the world and smile. It seems the smiling will just follow the other two. Don't you think?

Here's the rub-how do I do it? I need a serious makeover in the time management/organization department. I need a system to keep myself together that I can actually handle. Because if the system is too intricate or involves too many steps, I won't keep it up and then the disorganization reaches a peak that sends me right to the couch to watch kids shows with the Circus.

I am going to investigate today.I'll wander the calendar aisle at my area Staples and then I'll troll the internet for advice.

I'll keep you posted on what I find-if my new time management system allows.;)

Taking A Turn

2009-11-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

When I started Working Chick I thought it would be a place where I would dispense wisdom on how to balance life as a working woman. Then I realized that all the wisdom I could dispense was not mine, but actually that of all the mentors I have had in my life.
In business, heck-in life, mentors are critical. The funny thing is many of the mentors I have don't even know they are important in my life. The way my business works, much of the training and mentorship I receive is via conference call, hotlines, blogs or other media venues that don't require people to be in the same room.
Even outside of my industry, I look up to women that seem to embody the traits that I find important and strive to model every day and many of them I have never met.
This revelation led me to tweak Working Chick. Instead of offering advice or just anecdotes about how I am trying to maintain life as a working mom, I decided instead to focus on the people who I watch to help me do what I do. I often call these women-offhandedly of course-Girl Crushes.
It is a title that while admittedly not very formal or professional (I mean c'mon this site is called Working Chick clearly formal is not what I do), seems to encompass the feelings most women can identify with when speaking of a mentor. A Girl Crush is someone you admire for reasons professional, personal or- if you are very lucky-both.
Girl Crushes are the people you want to be when you grow up even if you are technically more grown than they. When I have talked about Girl Crushes with other women and my theory that not only do we have them, but we all have them for similar reasons, everyone female I know agreed.
My first Girl Crush was my mom as she balanced working and mothering better than anyone I have met. She was quickly followed by a succession of swimmers, softball players, class presidents, sorority rush chairs, CEOs and CEO moms. These women, whatever their role and whatever their age, have all had a profound effect on both the woman that I am and the one I am constantly working to be. They provide a model of excellence, of courage and of balance that I strive for daily.
Sometimes I get it right, but it is only because of what I have learned from watching them.
So starting now, Working Chick will be a celebration of all Working Chicks rather than the words of just one.

Livin' on faith

2009-09-29T21:35:00.001-04:00

There are times in business where it seems you have nothing left but faith. I have been there.

The problem with faith is that no matter what is in front of you, faith means you have to believe without proof.

To truly create longterm success, you have to decide what your faith is in. Do you believe in a higher power or you and your abilities or simply the purpose of the work that you do? Maybe you believe in all three. Whatever it is, you have to believe with 100% of your heart or else your business is doomed to fail-eventually.

Why? Because some days everything seems to go wrong. Some days, no one answers a phone and everyone wants their money back. Somedays people don't come through like they said they would. Some days, you just don't feel like doing what needs to be done.

These are the days that make it easy to question yourself and your decisions. You may even question your purpose and path. If you want life long success, now is when you have to dig down for your faith. You have to believe so much in the overall vision that the smaller picture fades to black. It may not be easy. But it will work.

Here's the kicker-you have to figure out what you believe in before the dark days or else they'll swallow you right up.

Spend some time today discovering your faith. Have an Oprah moment and decide for yourself, what you KNOW to be true. What do you believe in, even when all the evidence points in the opposite direction?

Find your faith and I promise-it will never let you down.

Finding The Balance

2009-09-22T10:24:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I wore exactly five outfits. I spent the morning running carpool in the mom uniform of khakis and a "dressy" tshirt. Then I headed to the gym so I had on sweats and a bathing suit.

I showered at the gym, put on makeup and changed into business casual attire so I could deliver products to people and run errands. Even though I had two kids with me, I dress professionally for errands because you never know who you'll meet while out and about. Sure enough, the lady at the tuxedo shop is my newest client.

I fed my boys a quick (late) lunch then headed to pick up my first grader and take all three to dance class. We flew home from dance in time for me to cook a quick dinner, change into hip-mom clothes and attend back to school night.

At 9:00pm I was on the phone, in pajamas, conducting an interview.

My head was spinning at bed time thinking of what I had to the next day. With all this action and back and forth of clothes and personas I still felt a sense of calm.

I have learned that being a full time work from home mom is all about attitude. I could (and have in the past) have been easily overwhelmed by the day. It was packed full of activity and went back and forth between mom and professional. Instead of being overwhelmed, I decided to focus on how lucky I was that I got to pick my kids up from school and take them to dance class.

Instead of getting angry that my job cut into Playdoh time, I decided to be happy that my kids could come with me when I did my job. We sang songs in the car. They met some of my clients. They even got some unexpected treats from women who were happy to be handed their cleanser by two blond little boys.

When I was on hold yesterday I heard a recording of Mary Kay Ash. She said, no one who ever exceeded in life did so by working 9 to 5. I kept that in mind all day yesterday as I went much later than nine. I am choosing to exceed-not just exist.

Sometimes, when you work from home, and always, when you run your own business; finding balance is all about deciding to do so.

Who Am I Now?

2009-09-15T20:10:00.000-04:00

When someone asks my husband what he does for a living he has an answer right away. He’s a publicist. It’s a word most people know even if they don’t really understand what it means. More important, his title is a noun, a thing, an identity. What he does is largely who he is.
That is not a bad thing.
When someone asks me what I do, I can never answer. I am a mom and I own my own business. For many of you there a two jobs that you do as well. You may have a noun that is your first job, but your personal business also feels like part of you.
I am in the Cosmetic Industry. You may be as well.
If you have quit a full time job, like I did you may say, "Before I started this business I used to be…". You get the picture.
I was not sure what to answer to the question, “what do you do?” because my job was not a simple noun. I used to know what I was-a writing teacher, then a Literacy Specialist. The second title was most appealing because people wanted to ask about it. The second title meant I had an advanced degree and I thought that gave me an identity. I stood very tall when I was a Literacy Specialist. I helped people and I knew stuff-I was a specialist after all. Never mind that I hated it and wondered what in the world I was doing most days.
When I had kids and started my own business (that does not involve any of my degrees but that I love) I was all of a sudden unsure of "what I did."
Part of the reason for my identity crisis was that I was able to work my job almost seamlessly around my family so that I was never quite sure when I was working and when I was being a mother.
As I have built this business I have met as clients some incredible women with impressive jobs. I have met women who research cures for Cancer. I have met women who work on Capitol Hill. I have met doctors and lawyers and students studying to be both. I have met stay at home moms who recognize that while some day they may go back to a traditional job, for now their work at home is the most important job in the world. I have met many women and they can all answer the question, “what do you do?” with a very impressive noun. They are sure of their identities.
I never was. Then a funny thing happened. When we were getting ready to move to New Jersey I had a day where I spent the bulk of the waking hours packing my family of five while taking care of two very sick members of said five. For the morning and early afternoon, I was mom.
Then, in the evening I drove to a work appointment with a woman who lived in DC. She is a Capitol Hill Staffer. You should know her boss. They do important things where she works. I found myself in awe of this young woman not only because of her job but because of her life as a single city girl-an identity I never tried as I got married fresh out of college. As I sat marveling at this woman and all the things I thought made her more impressive than me, she said something that caught me off guard. She said, “thank you”. She thanked me for coming. She thanked me for making her comfortable enough to talk about her appearance and how she wanted to change it. She thanked me for recommending all the things she would need to “feel better about herself during the day”. She told me she had been to other Professionals and they had not given her the same level of care or information that I provided.
This amazing woman who does important things thanked me, for helping her. I was stunned. It occurred to me driving home that it does not matter if I don't have a fancy Noun for my job. Helping people is part of my identity-whether it is as a mother or as an image consultant. I know exactly who I am. And my job, while it’s not curing cancer or making laws, is important because I help women feel better about who they are. If I know one thing for sure it’s that a woman who feels good about herself is unstoppable.
So if your industry is service, whether it's makeup, clothes, dishes or whatever, you bring people something they need and sometimes it may just be a friendly face. No matter the product, service is what you provide and that is who you are-someone who serves. What is more noble than that?
Even if you can't think of an impressive noun, what you do is impressive.
Stand tall.

Getting Out There

2009-09-08T10:38:00.000-04:00

Starting a business is hard. Make no mistake. The worst part for me was telling people. I think because this business feels so personal, it is hard to separate yourself from what you do.

I believe if I opened a store it would have been easier to ask people to come because they would shop anyway. But when I began, it felt like I was asking for favors since in essence, these people were helping me and I often was their introduce to both the products and the business plan.

I got over my fear the hard way- by doing what I feared most-opening my mouth and asking. I asked people who were comfortable to me like friends and some family. These people aren't always the easy ones, since many can be more intimidating than strangers. What I asked for was their opinion of what I had to offer. This way, the hard sell was off the table. And really who will say no when asked for their opinion?

Pretty soon, a funny thing happened-all of their opinions were positive and I realized I wasn't asking. I was offering.

I believe in what I have to give and I know I will take care of my customers better than many other people who offered the same type of products.

When this realization hit, I had no trouble building my business because it was selfish not to ask.

The news you don't want to hear though, is it only got easy because I did what was hard.

So fight your fear. Get out there and you just may see you have more to give than you ever knew.